You have no idea how much I appreciate this kind of feedback, which to me, comes from the other side.

My husband simply refuses to understand or accept that our relationship has deep issues. His reality is different than mine. He always told me that I should get a hobby instead of asking for affection and intimacy because in his mind, I was doing this out of bordome asking him to divert his focus from what he believed was valuable to him, was a waste.

All my affection attempts were interpreted as requests for sex which he was always up to ask long as we would have focused on that, alone.

We have a toddler together and recently my therapist recommeded we take a new session together because as our son is starting kindergarten we have the chance to work on our relationship again, having slightly more time as the little guy became more autonomous. He refused it.

The first time we went for therapy together, he was invited as a guest, and he accepted — he spent the entire afternoon in bed before leaving the house.

At the therapist office, I was stunned. He put on an, obviously studied, laid back guy who doesn’t believe that his relationship has any issues except for the common nitty gritty ones that all couples have. He didn’t even admit that I was having anger issues when countless of times I’ve burst into rage as he was gaslighting me.

Addmitting we have issues would mean that he would have to pull the weight and work for it. At least in theory. He chooses not to. And for that he’s playing dumb saying that it’s all in my head — after all I’m the one in therapy, not him.

You wonder why I don’t leave. And you’re right. But when you have a small child, you start to put the child first against your romantic life. What’s that, anyway?

And to be honest, if I would see that he’s willing to put in the effort for our relationship to work — as you do, I would be the most happiest person in the world.

Who doesn’t want an uncomplicated life?

Thanks for your comment, once again. You are a good person.