Thomas, I know that reading this is triggering. But I am not your ex-wife. My motives for having an emotional affair are not the same. I had numerous conversations with my husband, and I have assertively yet warmly expressed my needs and wants. He refuses to acknowledge that our relationship is not OK. He believes that our marriage is normal or within normality, which comes on spectrum, of course. He doesn’t enjoy the arguments but he takes advantage of our extensive silent periods where he's not bothered and he can enjoy the quiteness. Our relationship is pretty much bipolar in that sense with long periods of silence and bouts of joy and rage. I am so sick and tired of this cycle and having a small child that needs both parents aside doesn't help me situation. I wouldn’t take him away from his dad and I wouldn’t go away from him. This emotional affair is my way to deal with all this. It's a coping mechanism and these days (when I am feeling terribly depressed) doesn’t even seem to work anymore. Do you know how lonely and trapped feels?