This is wonderful insight, Stony! You seem like a great guy and your wife is lucky to have you. I encourage you to write this as a story on its own. It deserves the space and the audience.

My husband is slightly individualistic. He enjoyed seeing me dependent on him during the first phase of our relationship and now he’s completely off in terms of his role since I no longer need any financial assistance. The problem is, that for him to still be relevant for me, he should provide on aspects that money can’t buy. And that’s his weak point. He doesn’t like to put in the effort to nurture our relationship or to get more involved in raising our son. When things get tough, and I request help, he would prefer to give me money instead. That’s why this topic is so important for him when I couldn’t care less if I’d had earned less than him (we don’t share an account, each with their own).

The topic is quite complex indeed. Thanks again for your thoughts!