This actually makes a lot of sense. You are not distancing! You do a lot for her, as a mother. Mentally, though, you are distant, because distance is safe when we talk about a trauma as the one you… - Eva Grape - Medium

… whether I’m just selfish and lazy, and that’s why I don’t have a relationship with her that I want. I often question whether my own mother's suicide when I was a child has contributed to this. Maybe part of me is terrified of dying and leaving her without a mother, so I purposefully distance myself in case I do die, and then she won’t have to feel the pain I felt. But maybe that’s an excuse. I don’t know.

I Feel Like a Horrible Mother and I Don’t Know How to Change

Modern Parent Editors

Nov 26, 2020

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This actually makes a lot of sense. You are not distancing! You do a lot for her, as a mother. Mentally, though, you are distant, because distance is safe when we talk about a trauma as the one you have experienced. You are a good mother just for questioning whether you are or not. It shows that you care. Just do what you have done already. Be present. Build your own activities with her. Create special routines that she doesn’t do with her dad and you will take your deserved space in her life. Own your role! You are enough!

Take care!

love,

ET

Written by Eva Grape

Side-hustler mom writes about marriage, relationships at large and psychology.

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