That's what would happen in theory. In practice, it's not always black or white. More like gray. And this is what I am navigating - my own shade of gray. I learned not to judge others in this process. What I think I would do, based on my own core values, might not match what other person would do. It doesn't mean that what the other person chooses to do is wrong if I consider it wrong. Every personal situation is just that, personal. Of course I live in cognitive dissonance as a coping mechanism for ditching part of my core values to be happy. It’s the price I am paying and I am not particularly proud of it. What gives me peace of mind is that right new, three people are doing better because of this affair. Yes, including my husband. The alternative would have been us ending up in a divorce that would have had more negative impact that an affair that is contained. I am not sure about the future, but I am ready to accept the consequence should this ever blow up in my face. It's not easy, of course. Thanks for your thoughts.