Thanks for your perspective, SuzyD! I like it, really, it's just that I am afraid that reasoning with someone who would threaten a woman, won't work. That's why I would shame him at emotional level, not rational one. As much as you're holding you head high, they will keep pushing you down in opposition. If you suprised them with an unexpected reaction, the effect might be more direct. At least I know I'll try this to see what happens next time I am in a similar situation. I don't see anything wrong in showing you are vulnerable.