Thank you, CSS. You grasped the whole point beautifully. I am not withholding sex, as you correctly identified. As a matter of fact there are plenty of time when physically I would be 100% into it, but knowing how self-absorbed he is, having no consideration for my level of exhaustion from leaving all the child rearing to me, turns me off.

But as turned off as I am, sometimes I close my eyes, and imagine for a second that we are a normal couple so having sex is a natural part of it. He welcomes me every time, but for me it feels that I’m cheating myself.

You perfectly identified that my lack of desire stems for his emotional unavailability and scarce support as partner and co-parent. The manipulation in this case, is on the opposite side: I receive support and little affection only when I tend for his needs.

Your comment is spot on. If I’d have a prize for the best comment, you’d be the winner.