Oh man, you have no idea how relatable that is. My mom, is exactly how you describe your wife. Only that it's me, her daughter, who takes care of her. It's not entirely her fault. Her brothers enabled her when they expected she would be the one taking care of their aging mother. Only that my grandmother didn't need assistance back then, my mom received a small stipend from them for a while. When my grandma died, my mom was in her late 40s with no job experience or social skills hence getting a job was a nightmare for her. Literally. I took care of my mother financially for at least 10 years. She tried getting a job but she had a mental blockage that she wasn't going to be fit for a job. I know I am enabling her but I couldn’t see her struggle. The sense of responsibility goes hand in hand with guilt and fear. I hear you. It's very hard. I hope you find the way to be happy. Hugs!