My heart goes with you!

I think I understand where you are coming from, because I was in your shoes, not long ago.

My husband is in his early 40s and he was not even sure we will be equipped for the parenthood — so he was, as expected, reluctant to start with.

When the baby arrived and with him, all the new baby stress (to call it on its real name), he withdrawn tremendously leaving me deal with almost all the responsibility of taking care of the baby (he even took a new skill — motorcycling).

Also, he preferred doing anything else in the household to compensate for not interacting with the baby. In retrospect, I believe he was scared and felt inadequate, as I seemed to be holding it together just fine, without his intervention (in reality I was sad and frustrated to my core, not to mention how alone I felt).

Another point to consider for his behaviour, especially if you decided to extend your family after decades of living carefree, is that it’s a great challenge to change your ways of living from the ground. It will no longer be about you, enjoying your free time, focusing on your careers, taking risks or having tones of options — no, not anymore.

More or less all of a sudden, you don’t come first anymore. And this can be scary for anyone, including men.

My son is now almost two years old and although I still take care of him more than my husband, he started to get more involved and appreciate the time with his son. I never thought I would say it, but I have hope now that he will be a good father, after all.

I know it’s hard, but bear with him.

Love,

/ET.