I'm trying here one more time, and I promise this is the last time I will show any interest in your view. I am not even doing it for you but for the other readers who may come across your comment.

I don't know what your experience is with affairs - I might read your stories at some point to get to the bottom of this, but in the meantime, you should know that a) affairs, like any other complex things in life, are not black or white. If you choose to treat them like this, it only shows how limited your understanding of life is b) Your experience - good or bad, is not everyone's experience; in my case, for now, I am not saying this can go on for life; this affair favours all parties. Neither my AP nor I want anything else than what we have, and this is because it won't favour anyone if we decide to change it; c) All people, by definition, have a degree of selfishness. It's what makes us people. I was not selfish for 20 years, dedicated myself entirely to one man, had a family, and always put my needs last. Like me, plenty of women out there can say the same. d) I am not assuming people are happy. I see them, and I know they are happy. e) I never said my choice is morally clean or this is a prescription for happiness. I am sharing my reflections as a first-hand experience someone has with this topic, in case it might be helpful for anyone reading. We know a lot theoretically about cheating, infidelity or affairs, but it is slightly different when someone reports directly "from the field". Take care, Sean! And never, ever cheat again in this life. The guilt will eat you alive. Eva.