If my husband would be 10% inclined to work on himself or our relationship as you seem you are from your description, I would be in a very different place right now. He has no intrest in fixing anything because he doesn't consider we have big issues. He doesn't take me seriously and even says that if I want to leave then he can't do anything to stop me. It's my choice. We have a kid together and I want him to grow up with both parents around. I don't want him to jump between two households or be bothered with us being separated. Not for now at least. But I am also not willing to sacrifice my needs as I have done it for years so this is a "middle ground" for me. It might not seem fair but for now it maintains the status quo. I have days when I feel a bad person for it, and days I am glad I have this person I can turn to who makes me feel valuable, appreciated, and wanted. It is a slippery slope. But as I talked with some lady friends, very few women cheat when things are going well at home...