I tried to picture how my life would be as a single mom too many times. I’m going to ask some questions now and while the message might sound aggresive, it’s nothing more than my mental process. So here it goes:

What do you think the benefit would be for any of us, if I’d leave while my child is so small? Do you think he would have a happier mom? Do you think I’d start chasing love? Going to dates? I barely have enough time to juggle with my work-life balance when my husband is at an arm’s lenght. Do you think he would be more involved into rasing his child when we’ll have separate households?

I don’t see any benefit in leaving at this point.

I would only leave NOW if the environment would become toxic; i.e. yelling, resentment, passive-aggressiveness. Or violent

— which he isnt.

I am not staying because I can’t afford leaving, either.

This is a choice I did the math for making it.

He loves his son. His son loves him

I can work with this for now. Now it’s not about me. And I’m fine with it. I’m sure I’ll have the time to focus on me when my son is older and he won’t be needing both his parents around because he’ll be more preoccupied with his interests.

For now, I’ll pull the weight.