I love that part in Esther's book where she speaks about choosing the same partner several times during marriage / relationship. In our case we know I will eventually leave. It's a matter of when not if. He probably accepts I might have an AP. Looking at him now, complemented by my AP, is a decent partner. Mind you, he has good parts I respect and appreciate. However, if it weren't for this man I started an affair with, I would be horribly depressed. He depresses me. He is so disconnected from me, there's almost no energy flowing between us than anger. I think anger makes sex great between us to be honest. He uses me and I use him. It's a very practical marriage.