Hi, Charlie! Very good points. I'll clarify.

My husband was not suspicious but pissed. He wouldn't have hurt me (I hope) but I didn't want to take the chance and escalate a situation to the point yelling and shouting was involved (our three-year old was watching cartoons in another room).

My husband wanted to humiliate me. He admitted that later when we talked after the steam was gone. I told him that I crossed a line by enabling my boss to text me whenever, and I knew there was a fine line between casual jokes and starting to "like" each other. I wanted to focus on fixing the issues, he wanted to focus on punishing me through humiliation. If a person doesn't understand boundaries, because you haven't had boundaries before (guilty as charged) it's your job to change that. Calling the police was neither good or bad. Was a decision I took calculating the risk of exposing our son to a potential big fight.

The reasons for which I am still with him are complex, but let's say that when I draw a line, it's not that bad. Plus he's the father on my son, and he also has a handful of qualities I'll always respect him for. There are issues, but generally speaking, we do decently as a couple. Sex is good, too. I have explained in a newer piece why we shouldn't leave relationships and work for improving ourselves instead. I'll invite you to read that as a follow-up, if you wish. Thanks, Eva. https://medium.com/heart-affairs/you-dont-need-a-new-relationship-you-need-a-new-you-dbac3516988