hey there! my heart goes with you! from what I understan, you are raising two small children by yourself! congratulations for surviving! not all children are perfect little angels, in fact, most of them are a handful, requiring 100% of our time and attention. but we are only humans. we need to be cared for too. we need time for ourselves to fill in those reservoirs in order to be able to function well and give back. so I hear you, it is darn hard, dear! I also have a youngster myself, and even though married (still) it is darn hard! you can forget about your old self when they come. but they also bring joy. and love. it will get better but you need help. please try to get at least one hour a day just for yourself. they are not that small anymore. I’d guess they could survive with some tv show and some fav food — if you don’t have someone to watch them for you. but darling, you need to pause. you need to take a long shower. you deserve it. anyone does and especially you! take care of yourself. how else could you be a good mom if you are not good with yourself? big hug!