Hey, James. Good advice, thank you!

I am going alone to therapy and I know that I have to work first on my own issues. Also, for a long time in our relationship, I was the one taking care of it and keeping it alive. I have tried numerous approaches: from assertiveness to vulnerability and sometimes demanding that he’ll be more involved and present. Not to say that he didn’t try improving but he definitely never followed through. Seeing me relaxed and happy just made him go back to his default, where he’d be mostly disconnected from me. It felt like when he was doing something for us, he was actually putting fires out rather than ownig the process. Once the issue was resolved, and I looked satisfied he was not interested in maintain whatever he was doing to make it right. Consequently, I eventually refrained from asking him to pull the weight and I also lost patience doing the work by myself. So that’s pretty much how we ended up in this situation. I was the one keeping the lights on in our relationship, hence, when I didn’t have the energy to invest in, he didn’t compensate (at least temporarily). He preferred to just sit and wait. How would you react if when you’d have been in my shoes, James?