He knows. I voiced our shortcomings in the beginning. When I noticed he didn't care to put in the effort, I started saying it less and less. Until one day, I stopped. It felt like talking to stones. Or he would have gotten very defensive and gaslighted me. For years all he did was wait. Whenever I was going though "a phase" he would just wait for me to get over it. And I did all the time. I am so tired now.