Psychological rebirth enabled by motherhood

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“There is nothing as powerful as a mother’s love and nothing as healing as a child’s soul.” — Unknown

I see many people my age and younger struggling with all kinds of insecurities, boredom, and an overall sense of worthlessness. I was one of them until compelled by parenting circumstances. I had to take responsibility for raising my child.

The motherhood experience transformed me for the better. I never thought that this would be the cure for my self-absorption, but it was, indeed, this simple.

I will share with you in this story how my motherhood journey enabled psychological rebirth…


Why shouldn’t we be so surprised?

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Can we grow together as a couple?

People marry for various reasons. Sometimes for love, but most often base their decision on projections. She’s kind, so I’ll take the chance she’ll be a wonderful wife who will love me happily ever after or he’s patient and caring — he’ll make a wonderful father one day. Only that there’s no such guarantee. We can’t expect people to stay the same for a lifetime.

The only constant in life is change.

Marrying someone and expecting it will last forever is a gamble. You never know for sure that the person you married today will be the same five years…


Your quick guide for any family gatherings

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BPD people have a hard time in social interactions.

For as long as I can remember, I was not too fond of family gatherings that included my mother. As you can imagine, when I was a child and during early adulthood, all family gatherings had her, which made celebrations like Christmas, Easter, and birthdays anxiety-inducing events.

My mother is socially awkward. Her behavior stems from low self-esteem issues, which she tends to hide by overcompensating. Consequently, she becomes very loud in a group setting, and if she doesn’t have her way, she’s quick to snap. My mother doesn’t seem to care that she’s making a scene. …


Responses to readers series

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Dennis Collins read and left a comment on one of the oldest pieces I wrote about my marriage struggles. He said the following:

These two lines stand out: “I have pursued my husband to start this family journey, after being together for 12 years in a stagnating relationship.” & “ Two years later, I managed to make him agree to try for a child.” Had I been coaching him I would have explored does he really want to be in this relationship, and why would he get married let alone have a kid in a long term stagnate relationship.

You…


It’s a Millenial type of “Sex and the City.”

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Watching a series is a guilty pleasure we shouldn’t feel that guilty about.

I confess it’s been a while since I have watched a TV series. As a working mother, time is essential, especially if I also allocate time for my writing. But sometimes, and you all know what I’m talking about, you don’t want to do anything “productive,” and you’d just lay, instead, watching something that doesn’t take much brain capacity to process.

Because I’m cautious with my time, I have refrained from social media and Netflix which are notorious time thieves. …


He wants to make me feel bad and give in. Should I fall for this powerplay?

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Tonight has been the third time in the last month when my husband refused my advances to go to bed after initiating sex.

I went by him, pressing my body on him and softly biting his neck. He rejected me and I felt insulted. Today, even more than the other times because, in all honesty, I needed to have sex.

For months, my husband has been very vocal, complaining about not getting satisfying sex in our relationship because his words, “you don’t suck anymore,” and “you’re not interested in anal sex either.” …


THOUGHTS

Your grand-grandson is exactly like you would have imagined

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She wanted to meet my child, her grand-grandson, so she could tell our dearly departed, when she’d get on the other side as well, how my son is. She didn’t pressure me, and I didn’t hurry either. On a crispy Sunday in February, my son was born close to her birthday, four years after she left the Earth.

Today is exactly six years since I don’t have my grandmother anymore, a woman who raised me like a mother.

She was a tough woman, so I learned toughness from her. For most of her life, she had to be responsible, taking…


Tick-tock, hurry up.

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Dear gentlemen,

You might not care that much about your biological clock like women do, yet, down prioritizing fatherhood for other life goals can lead to regrets later on in life.

The reason for which I am writing about this topic is that I live with a man that became a father in his 40s, and I bet he could have been much better equipped for fatherhood if we would have had the kid while in his 30s.

Fortunately, in our case, fertility wasn’t an issue. I am seven years younger than him, healthy and active, which made the age…


Friendship doesn't guarantee a good professional relationship

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They always told us that we’re a package deal. If I go, they will go too; if I stay, we’ll stay together. So during the negotiation week, when I’ve been in meetings with both sides trying to decide what would be the best move, I always discussed my position as a delegate of the trio.

My logical brain told me that we should accept the transition and move; however, it felt profoundly wrong. My decision-making process led me to conclude that I should not trade a good manager seduced by the deceptive promise of corporate success.

I wasn’t expecting this…


How to escape from a nasty version of corporate Game of Thrones

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I had a fair share of managers by the time I reached 30. Most of them bad, so I knew that he's a keeper when I got a good one. We’ve been working together for five years now, and I wouldn’t change him without being absolutely sure that the next one is at least as good as him. After all, you know that “80% of the job satisfaction is due to your manager”.

So when I recently had to decide if I’ll change managers, I knew I had to go through a challenging decision-making process that included factoring in multiple…

Eva Grape

Editor of: The Venting Machine, Working Moms, and The Husband Chronicles. IT professional. I cover parenting, relationships, mental health.

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